Month: December 2020

Dear 2020,

Posted on by ChauT

You have taught me many lessons. One that I didn’t think I could face. I’ve always tried to be kind. Always took opportunities that were given. Granted, you should always accept them. If you want to. By being too kind, I never set boundaries for myself, whether it was professionally or personally. I allowed people to walk over me. Speak to me however they pleased. I had to deal with many toxic individuals but thought I should stay quiet. But then I’m thinking, “Why should I be quiet?” No. They clearly don’t respect me. I need to speak up. So I did. People will never take responsibilities for their own actions. Even when they are called out and are in the wrong. You can’t force someone to see their own actions. You can just hope they learn from them. I certainly have. I left and cut off people that were not good for me. People think they know what’s best for me but no one’s ever asked me what I wanted. I was taught to set boundaries and stand up for myself. I will not let anyone tell me how to think. They are not me. I have a brain and I know how to use it. 

Another lesson I was taught is love. Whether it is romantically or platonically. I know what a healthy relationship looks like and I will not settle for anything less. Many people have told me that it’s okay to wear your heart on your sleeve. So I did. I wore it on my sleeve and let people see me in my most vulnerable state. I am stronger because of it. We all deserve love, no matter your sexuality. We deserve someone who will love us, fight for us, makes us incredibly happy, one you can see a future with and someone who you’re attracted to. There’s nothing better than having someone you have a connection with that’s so strong. This year has made it clear on who I like, what I like, and to never stop fighting. There’s one person I have to thank for that. 

Career wise, I’m still in between. Since I let people walk over me, I went into a slump. I had a vision of what I wanted but that was depleted the minute I let myself think I wasn’t good enough. Towards the end of the year, I finally found the motivation again. I have lots of goals and things I want to accomplish in 2021. Here’s hoping I can achieve them. 

Being in the middle of a pandemic has taught me to slow down and to take care of myself. You can’t accomplish everything in one day. You should take it one day at a time. 

Someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas. What I want for Christmas, you cannot buy. You can buy everything but you cannot buy love, relationships, friendships, acceptance, peace, happiness, self-love and a motivating mindset. 

I have met so many great people along the way. I am forever grateful to each and every one of them. They have taught me acceptance, love, responsibility, self-care, self-love and confidence. I believe you meet people for a reason. They’re either a lesson or a blessing. Many of them have been both. 

It’s okay to love myself and who I am. I will never apologize for that. People are more than their sexuality. If the only thing you can see is someone’s sexuality and judge them for that then I’m sorry you’ll never get to know the great person they truly are. I believe everyone can succeed in life. All you need is to stride with confidence. 

Winter Beauty Favorites

Posted on by ChauT

FINALLY IT’S WINTER!! I can’t believe that it’s December already! Can you believe it?! Where have the months gone by?! Oh yeah, it passed us by since we have been in a pandemic. I don’t know about you but I still haven’t gone to many places as I used to. I only go to necessary places like the grocery store or drink places like Starbucks. Sometimes, I’ll go to the mall or walk in a park somewhere just to get some fresh air.

I always tell myself I need to save money. Which I have done but once in a while, I can’t help but splurge! Just because we have to stay home, it doesn’t mean we have to stop taking care of ourselves! We all deserve some self-care at home so we can venture off into the day!

  • Spicebomb Extreme Viktor & Rolf – Spice up your scent with this seductive cologne. This is a great unisex scent. It’s not too strong but it’s not faint as well! 1-2 sprays will last you for the day. On Sephora’s website, the style of the fragrance is described as explosive, seductive and addictive. Spicebomb has notes of Bergamot, Grapefruit, Cinnamon Leaf, Black Pepper, Lavender, Chili, Saffron, Oud Accord, Tobacco Accord, Pimento and Cumin. This is truly an addictive scent. It’s spicy and sexy but it’s not overpowering. You can wear this anytime and for any occasion. Out of all of the fragrances I’ve purchased, this is my favorite. The size is 3.4 oz/90 ml. You can buy this at Sephora for $120.
  • Pants Chain-Yes, you read this correctly! I am in love with the jewelry line, Chippd Tooth. Their pieces are made with stainless steel so it never fades or tarnish! They sell products such as pants chain, necklaces and bracelets. Their style is simple-chic meets street. Pants chain is a long or short chain with two hooks or clasps on each end. You can style this with any kind of pants or skirts you’d like! Personally, I’ve been wearing this with jeans, a nice t-shirt, hoodie or jacket and I am ready for the day! This goes well with any type of style. This is my favorite fashion accessory and I like to wear it with confidence! Their line comes out with different collections so you get it while you can.
  • Vanilla Latte Scrub-I have been using a facial scrub from Imani Steph Beauty ever since I’ve bought it in August. I am obsessed with the smell! I may not be able to drink coffee but the smell alone is enough to wake me up. Plus, it actually works really well! I have noticed my skin looking brighter and feeling smoother when using this. You can use scrubs once or twice a week. I like to use it three times a week-Sundays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. I have very sensitive skin so I normally stay away from any type of scrubs but this is really gentle on my skin. No rash and no redness for me! Facial scrubs are meant to moisturize skin while leaving you refreshed. It will also get rid of the dead skin cell buildups. In doing so, this will make your skin look brighter and smoother. On Imani Steph Beauty’s website, it is $20 and contains 4 oz.

Those are the products I have been loving since August and have been using them even more during the fall/winter season! It is important to save money but if you see something you truly love, then I say go for it! Or at least save enough to splurge on it! That’s what I tend to do!

A Journey To Accept My Sexuality

Posted on by ChauT

When I was younger, I didn’t fully process the fact that I was gay. I always knew I saw girls in a different light. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be them or be with them. It’s not like I had anyone to confide in with that information. I am an only child so the only relationships I looked up to were the ones on TV. I always thought romantic comedies were cheesy but I loved the grand gestures and when the guy gets the girl of his dreams. I wanted that too.

Whenever couples would kiss, my eyes would gravitate towards the girl and I’m always in awe of their beauty. Growing up, I had crushes on almost all of my female teachers. Some of my guy teachers were cool and attractive but never fantasized about them. Not the way I did for the female teachers.

If you ask me who my celebrity crushes are, I would give you a list of female stars, never the males. Remember when we were younger and we played house with our friends? I always wanted to be the guy, not sure why.

I enjoy hobbies such as skateboarding, boxing, and martial arts. While those are enjoyed by both genders, I always felt more powerful doing them, especially when they’re seen as male dominated hobbies. Females can dominate doing them too.

It never occurred to me that I would label myself as gay now. I never thought I needed a label. In my mind, I didn’t care who I loved, as long as I love someone with my whole heart. It wasn’t until college that I understood the divide and hatred people had towards the LGBTQ+ community. Saying how it is “unnatural,” when it’s just love. If you love someone, you shouldn’t have to hide it or be afraid that someone will harm you whether it’s with words or violence.

I’ve also dated and kissed guys. I still never felt attracted to them. So, you can’t say that I haven’t met the right guy yet. At this point in my life, if I haven’t felt an attraction, interest, or see myself marrying a guy then it’s clear that I am gay.

Every time I go on dates with women and hold hands with them, etc. I would feel the butterflies, I would get nervous and smile like a cheeseball. It’s the same feeling you get when a man loves a woman. If a woman doesn’t love a man but a woman, then so be it.

I heard a Tik Tok song recently by @Kaategill and this lyric stood out to me. “You’ll be living a life like Barbie and Ken, c’mon suck it up and forget this nonsense. But what if it’s not Ken but Barbie? Why should she have to say sorry?” Then I screamed internally saying, “She shouldn’t have to say sorry!!!” Why should we apologize for love? We shouldn’t have to! We also shouldn’t have to deal with homophobia but people are not understanding and think it’s totally okay to hate. You don’t know what that does to an LGBTQ+ individuals’ mental health.

We are not “mentally ill” as some people love to say. We are healthy human beings who love. If our feelings are for the same gender or whichever gender, then so be it. It’s normal. It’s healthy. We ALL deserve love just like heterosexual couples.

If a guy goes after the girl in public, everyone will root for them. But, if a girl does the same for another girl, everyone might be in disgust. See how that’s a double standard? A line from the TV Show, The Golden Girls, fits this perfectly. “Everyone wants someone to grow old with. And shouldn’t everyone have that chance?” Of course everyone deserves a chance!

I love seeing positive LGBTQ+ representation on screen because it makes me feel seen and heard. I will buy Pride pins and shirts to show people I am not afraid to be completely honest with myself and with everyone else. I will always fight for love.

I’m currently in a relationship with this sweet, kind, caring and intelligent woman that I absolutely love. My feelings for her are so strong that I can see a future with her. She’s the one I want. I’ve known her since high school but wasn’t out. Years later, we connected and I thought that this is my chance to date her. So, I put aside my fears and decided to go for it.

I’m happy that she likes me the same way. To be honest, I’ve never been happier. She makes me happy and I will not let anyone destroy my happiness. Homophobia will always remain but it’s our job to try to squash it and just normalize love. Love will always win.